Remember You (Sequel to Marry You) (SwanQueen)
by The Flying Ostrich
Summary: Sequel to "Marry You" SwanQueen. EmmaxRegina Emma Swan learns that her fiance & love of her life, Regina Mills, has been in a terrible car accident. The things they had worked so hard to build-love, home, and family-suddenly seem nonexistent & Emma wonders why life begins running from her when she finally decides to stay. Will Regina ever remember her almost happy ending?
1. Chapter 1

_Chapter One~_

 _Emma's POV~_

Crashing.

Tumbling.

Everything falling apart.

Falling out of me.

A chaotic whirlpool of terror screaming through the universe, destroying everything in its path.

A huge fire writhing with agony and burning life to ashes.

A raging river with power so grand that it's terrifying.

That is how I feel inside.

Instead of the joy and raw sunlight I should be feeling on my wedding day, I feel like everything inside of me is breaking, turning to indiscernible night.

Because the most important part of who I am, the person I was about to unite with today, is not here with me.

As soon as I heard those words, the world around me broke. I was no longer living here. I was merely an observer, a watcher of an odd dream.

"Your fiancé has been in a tragic car accident" they said.

They told me that it was going to be a tough time for me.

What they didn't tell me is how it felt like I was dying when I saw her all wrapped up in cords and tubes on a hospital bed.

What they didn't tell me is how when she woke up, and couldn't remember who I was, how that felt like I had lost my entire identity, and like I no longer knew who I was, either.

Tough times for me? They might as well have told me 'prepare yourself for more pain than you've ever experienced'.

But somehow, I keep living on. I do not let this sorrow control me. Even though I want to let it seep in, to let it take over my mind and body and soul, I do not let it. She would not want me to. Regina wouldn't want me to let my grief turn me into a monster; she wouldn't want me to suffer the same fate she did. And even though the Regina in the hospital is not the Regina I once knew; the woman I fell in love with despite all odds and the woman I was going to marry; I know that that woman still lives inside of her somewhere and is rooting for me to pull out of this. To pull _both_ of us out of this.

And so pull I will. I will do whatever it takes to make Regina remember me.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Chapter Two_**

 ** _Regina's POV~_**

 ** _Thirty minutes before the ceremony~_**

The sunlight pours into the car through the huge windows, cascading across my white dress.

I feel so at peace right now.

I'm finally getting my happy ending. Can it be true?

After all this time **_(always)_** of being a monster, could I in fact be seeing the light? Is all my hard work, all my change, finally being acknowledged by the universe?

In just a few minutes, I'll be at my mansion. But, it won't be that cold empty fortress anymore. For the first time, it's going to be home, because after today I'll be sharing it with the one person that ever made anything feel that way.

Emma Swan.

Everything about her is perfect, gorgeous, breathtaking. The way I feel when I touch her. The way she kisses me. The way she walks and talks and breathes…. Every minute movement is world-shaking. I fell in love with her fire, her passion, her determination, her search for good in places no one else thinks to look.

And now I get to marry her.

The car turns a corner and there's a moment where the world stops.

Everything slows down.

For just a minute, everything freezes.

Headlights speed toward us, and it's only seconds before ours collide with it, causing both cars to flip over and spin into a building twenty feet away. The world is thrown into an explosion of metal, a gruesome celebration of how fleeting life is.

But before the collision ensues, there is silence and peace for the seconds that drag on as I feel the world freeze around me. Even though I know that a collision is coming as soon as I see the swerving car ahead of us, I still feel at peace. I still feel free. And I realize something; because if I die in this moment, I am dying as Regina. Not the Evil Queen I spent so long trying to escape from, but as Regina. If I die now, I am dying as myself. And I could want for nothing else.

I close my eyes shut, breathing in how good that feels.

I only wish I could have escaped her, the Evil Queen, sooner. I only wish I could start over, to spare myself so much pain inflicted on myself, and so much hurt inflicted on those around me.

I open my eyes again, and the car is right before us, about to crash into us.

A strong voice utters three words. I have no idea where the voice is coming from. It's probably my scattered brain screaming confused thoughts… but it seems like so much more than that.

"Make a wish" the voice says.

I can feel the words pulling inside of me. I can feel their truth, their meaning, their light.

And so I close my eyes.

And when the car collides with mine,

When I'm thrown into the window

When darkness envelopes my eyes

When I sink into unconsciousness

I make my wish.

But what my wish was, I cannot remember.

In fact, I can't remember anything.

The only thing I remember is waking up in a hospital wrapped in monitors and wires and electronics.


	3. Chapter 3

**_Chapter Three~_**

 ** _Regina's POV~_**

My eyes flutter open, and I am in a panic.

I don't know where I am.

I don't know _who_ I am.

I can't remember anything _._

And then I see her.

And something shifts within me.

She is there, sitting across from my bed, her head looking out one of the large hospital windows.

Waves of blonde hair fall down her face and back. Her figure is small and weak, and her face looks broken. I feel a jab in my heart. What made her this way? Only a person that suffered great trials should look that pained.

I make a movement, and her head whips in my direction.

Her dead eyes spark to life as soon as she sees me. The most gorgeous smile alights across her face and tears sting her eyes.

"Regina?" she whispers.

She gets up, slowly approaching me, as if I'm a dream that will fade away if she touches me too soon.

She takes my hand in hers, slowly, gently, savoring every moment that her skin is connected with mine.

And I feel alive. My innards that felt dead and raw when I awoke now rage with life and passion.

It lights within me like a spark of lightning. I can't tear my eyes away from her face, not only because she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seens, but also because of this feeling inside my chest. I feel like I'm waking up from a terrible dream and she's the reality that makes me feel safe again. I feel like I've been lost for years and she's the home I'm welcomed to. I feel like a desert deprived of rain for centuries, and she is the burst of thunder that sends her lifeline of rain pouring out of herself to revive me.

I feel like I was lost.

And now I am found again.

I do not know who she is. My brain cannot collect the thoughts of who she once was. But my soul knows. It dances and expands and shouts. It is alive again. It knows her. It knows her as well as it knows myself (which, admittedly, isn't very much at the moment).

There is something special about this woman.

Something is dancing in my chest. My heart feels happy, my brain fogs over with joy, and my soul starts working to the beat of life again. Everything inside me changes when she touches me. My thoughts start silently screaming, pulling me towards her, filling me with memories I cannot remember.

One thing is certain; this woman was important to me.

If only I knew why.

Just like that, the joy of the movement fades away. Someone has poured water over my fire and all that remains are wet ashes.

I feel cold inside. Because I cannot remember anything. I can't remember why she's making me feel this way. And everything just feels oh so wrong.

She sees my face change, and hers does too. She knows now that something is wrong, and I can see her dying behind her eyes.

"Regina?" she says again, but this time her words are weak, worried, broken. She knows that I don't remember her.

I can tell that she wants to reach out to me, to touch me again, to feel alive and good again as she did just a few seconds ago. And I do too. I would do anything to feel that way again. But neither of us make a movement.

A small blonde nurse bustles through the doors, freezes when she sees that I'm awake, and then rushes back out of the room to let a doctor know that I'm conscious again.

"Where am I?" it's the first words I've spoken, and my throat burns with every word. I close my eyes and the pain that envelopes my entire body finally registers.

"You're in the hospital. You were in a car accident…. You don't remember?"

I shake my head, but keep my eyes closed. I can't bear to see the hurt on her face. I can already hear it in her voice.

"How long have I been here?"

She answers sadly, "Seven days. We didn't think you'd wake up."

There's pain in her voice, but relief too. She's obviously joyed that I did.

"Who am I?" I ask, my eyes fluttering open. But we both know that that's a question only I can answer for myself.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter Four~_**

 ** _Emma's POV~_**

'Who am I' That's what she asked me. Such a simple question. I should be able to answer it for her like that. But I can't.

I know who she is. I know the way her eyes ignite with life when I'm near her. I know the way she holds her fragile soul together with walls and walls of hate and anger. I know the way she loves so fully, completely, desperately, hopelessly. I know how much she hurts inside.

I know her. I know her body and her mind and her soul. And yet… I can't tell her who she is. I can't explain it. My knowing her is a silent agreement. Something that is so crucial to my very own identity that words can never do enough to fathom the feeling.

And what would I tell her anyhow? Is she the Evil Queen that destroyed other people's happiness to alieve her own heart-writhing pain? Is she the mayor of Storybrooke, so hurt and broken and bitter in her painful search for something to care for? Or is she the woman I knew, the Regina I cared for, the Regina that was so unearthily good and kind and compassionate and loving and oh so full of life?

Who _is_ Regina? Which of these people made her who she really was inside?

And now that she can't remember any of these identities….. will she never again be the woman I knew?

Tears start stinging my eyes.

This is so unfair. So so so so so very very unfair. My throat burns with how unfair it is and my desperation bubbles up out of my soul as liquid, running down my cheek as tears. They land on my shirt, the puddles staining it with my grief, and I think back to the tears that ran down my face a year ago when I thought Regina was marrying someone else.

And it occurs to me….. should I have let her? Should I have just let her marry Robin Hood? This would have never happened. She would have never lost her memory, her identity. She could be whole and happy and alive again.

She was this close, _this close,_ to getting the happy ending she spent lifetimes searching for.

And life took that away from her. No…. _I_ took that away from her. It's my fault that she's here in this hospital…. If I would have just let her marry Robin Hood….

But that's my guilt talking. Robin Hood was a lying, scheming man who could have never loved her as fully and completely as she deserves to be loved. However, I could. I did. I gave her that love, even if it was only for a fleeting moment.

I wipe my eyes roughly, letting out a hard breath. She's looking up at me, sad and broken and vulnerable and not the Regina I once knew.

"Who are you?" she whispers to me.

And then it's that question again. Who am i? It's not a question you can answer. You can't explain all the things about yourself; your likes and dislikes and hobbies and interests; and automatically have someone know you. Knowing a person takes being with them, observing them. Seeing the way they truly become alive when they're doing what they feel like they were created to do. Feeling their lips pressed against yours and being encompassed by the feeling that your souls are connected; whirling and living and breathing in uncertain unison. Listening to them talk and hearing their voice turn deeper, fuller, realer when they let down their walls and allow you see to see who they really are.

Knowing people is precious. You will meet hundreds of them. And yet knowing someone, truly _knowing_ them, is sacred and special. It takes time and patience will.

And as I look down at this woman with the soulful brown eyes and deep auburn hair, a fire ignites within me. A fire that will allow me to take the time, have the patience, and form the will to know her again.


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter Five~_**

 ** _Emma's POV_**

I sit at the table, a pen in my hand, laughing bitterly at how stupid this is.

Write her a letter with all our important memories?

That's impossible… there are too many. Too many memories… too many ways to explain how much she means to me…. Too much to feel, to explain.

And besides, some of these letters she can't even read. Knowing how we hated each other, how twisted she once was, how dark her past was; none of that will help her regain her memories. And even if they did, I can't… I can't see her become that broken again.

So why am I doing it? Why am I sitting at my desk with a pen in my hand, ink dripping onto my blank sheet of paper anyway? Maybe it's because the doctors told me it would help her… but maybe it's just the fact that I need to let out all these memories that eat at me every moment I'm awake.

I sigh again, running an angry hand through my hair.

And I begin to write the first letter.

 _You turned to me, and your face was bitter in the moonlight that poured down from the heavens._

 _You were so angry. I could see how much you hated me pouring out from your soul._

 _And how much I hated you poured from mine._

 _And yet…. I didn't hate you. It was a twisted hatred. A hatred so deep that it was breeding with love. Mixing and reforming into something untangible, unthinkable, unknown. No longer hate nor love…. But emotion._

 _If I had to explain how I felt about you, that would be it:_

 _It was emotion._

 _It was real._

 _So very, very real. The realest thing I'd ever felt._

 _But… it wasn't something that I could explain. It wasn't just one thing._

 _I hated you at one point. I hated you with a fiery passion. I hated you so much that my chest was lit with a fire that consumed my whole soul. But there was a part of me that couldn't hate you either. There was a part that wanted to save you from your darkness. A part of my soul that screamed in agony; cried in unison with yours; a part of my soul that watched in helpless horror as your light drowned out into the oblivion of your darkness. And I think it was this horror—this repulsion—that made me love you. I was so horrified that someone so good had been turned into a broken woman who had nothing left but the stains that reeked with the blood of her past._

 _You were broken. Your soul, your heart, your mind were contorted by society, by life, by the world, until nothing but a ghost of your former self remained. But your soul, your heart, your mind, were once whole and good and beautiful. They were pure and innocent. And I saw in that moment that they still could be that way, with a bit of repairment._

 _Your light had been drowned by the world's darkness…._

 _And isn't that terrible? What horror it would be to become the person you fear the most._

 _I think it was this sympathy, this empathy, this agony that made my soul connect with yours. I just wanted you to start over, to be given another chance…._

 _We faced each other, our very souls pouring out of our eyes, sharing our pain and horror and hatred and love for each other in that moment._

 _"Miss Swan," you spat out at me, continuing our earlier argument. "What do I need? You ask it as if you can help me…. Let me tell you, you can't."_

 _Your voice was supposed to be strong, to convince me that you didn't want my help. But all that it did was just cement how desperate you were to change. Desperate to the point of hopelessness._

 _"No one can help me," you cried out, each word stressed & quiet & strained. Your words came out as a whisper, as a pained & violent hiss. "Emma, I can't change. I'm a monster." _

_The rain started to pour down at that moment. I wanted so much to tell you that I was going to help you, to tell you that I knew I could. But I couldn't over the sound of the rain._

 _"Stay away from me," you'd managed to shout over the rain._

 _I should have taken that as proof that you hated me. But I didn't. I knew that's not what it was. It was you protecting me. Protecting me from your darkness, shielding me from yourself, hiding from me just how broken you really were._

 _Your face softened, and in that moment I knew I was in love with you. Tears brimmed your eyes, brimmed mine, and we were both speechless. Too broken to speak. To talk… to breathe._

 _And why is this the first memory I write for you, Regina?_

 _Because you're not a monster._

 _You've been darkened. Tainted._

 _And yet, through all your pain and torture … you've remained pure. There's still a part of you that cries out against the darkness. A part of you that doesn't want to be the monster you fear you've become. A light that shines through the darkness. A breath that escapes your lips before you're pulled under the ocean and drowned._

 _Regina, I love you. So much. You are so strong, so brave. Not only have you lived through your agonous life, that part of you known as innocence and good survived through it as well._

 _And I think that's why that moment stands out to me. At that moment, you were still darkened. I still didn't know how to perceive you. My mind was still trying to tell me that maybe you were the monster you said you were._

 _But through the rain—through your words—I heard something. I heard a tiny voice screaming out against it all. A tiny voice telling me who you were—not a monster—and that you needed to be saved. And I promised myself that the only thing I ever needed to do in my life was to save you. And I also promised myself that I would do anything, and I mean_ _ **anything,**_ _to save your life. Even if that meant sacrificing my own. And so that's when I first started liking you, giving you a chance, trying to help you._


	6. Chapter 6

**_Chapter Six~_**

 ** _Regina's POV~_**

The world is silent as I pace the street, headed towards the address they gave me as I was leaving the hospital. The small piece of paper I have clenched in my hand is quivering slightly and my heart is pounding; I have no idea what to expect when I make it to what they tell me is _my house_.

The road diverges into an entrance, and I stop suddenly, my breath lodging into my throat.

But nothing happens.

I want so desperately to feel something, _anything_ , but all I see before me is a huge white house and I feel nothing. No sense of nostalgia, no funny memories playing through my brain, no tears brimming my eyes, no anything.

I feel…. empty, and my eyes burn as I realize that this home must be full of so many memories I won't be able to remember. There are a few things I can recall—like the fact that I have a son—but everything else is foggy. I won't be able to remember the sound of his footsteps echoing through the house, or all the birthday parties we held for him, or his first words, or his first day at school, or even his favorite color or his likes and dislikes….

I let out my breath, my cheeks flushing with so many different emotions—I'm angry, depressed, confused—and I rush up the steps, wanting to get this over with.

A shaking hand makes its way to the doorknob.

I twist it, and the door opens, and I'm overwhelmed by the smell of apples.

It's like lightning. I feel something spark right in the center of my chest, filling me up with hope and happiness. I felt something. Remembered something. But just like that, it's gone, and again I'm in a house I don't recognize.

I'm getting overwhelmed as I see pictures of a boy that must be my son, of the blonde woman from the hospital, of friends and family I don't recognize, and I can't' bring myself to remember any of it.

But right before I can break down, I see something out of the corner of my eye. It's a young boy. Almost a man, really.

"Mom," he says, and rushes down the stairs.

And there it is again. A brief feeling of nostalgia that this has happened before.

The boy embraces me, and I wouldn't exchange anything in the world for the feeling that washes over me. It's warmth, it's love, it's home. So _this_ is what it's like to be a mother.

All these emotions are exploding inside of me, screaming to escape, and they start spilling out of my eyes as tears.

I thought that I would be a wreck when I was reunited with him. They told me at the hospital that I had a son, and what fear it was knowing that…. I was so scared knowing that I had a son I couldn't remember. What would it feel like having someone so precious that I didn't know a thing about? I thought that I'd be broken….

But just the opposite occurs. I don't feel broken at all. In fact, I feel like this small little person is piecing me back together. (Small is not accurate, of course, seeing that he's already a teenager)

He looks up at me with soft, gentle brown eyes and the warmest fondness rushes through me. There is one thing I am certain of—whoever I was, whoever I am—I did and do love my son. The kind of love that you'd go through the ends of the earth for.

"Henry," I say. They told me his name at the hospital, but this feels so right that I almost believe I would have remembered it anyway.

"I missed you Mom," he says.

I smile. "I missed you too."

"I was worried about you."

"Aren't you still worried?" My heart speeds up, and I remember my anxieties.

"Why would I be?"

"Because… I don't remember any of this. This…. This _life,_ I'm a stranger to it Henry. I'm a stranger to _myself_."

But he looks up at me and reassurance pours out of his soul into mine.

"It's going to be alright Mom. Trust me. People's memories mess with their sense of identity. Our experiences don't always help us find ourselves…. Instead we can get lost in them. You were lost Mom. And now, you're free. Now, you're just yourself. Your core self is showing because you're unable to be bogged down by any past experiences. Mom, I'm not worried about you at all. I'm relieved…. You look happy."

He smiles, and a part of myself left over from another life frees up immediately. I feel like the whole world has just been lifted off my shoulders. Whatever I did in the past, whatever memories had been bogging me down, they're lifted. And just like Henry said, I am _free_ , I feel _free_. And for what I feel has been the first time in a very long time, I _smile_ , a real genuine _smile_. And I think to myself what a joy it is to be alive. There's a strange sense that this is the first time in a while that I'm not merely surviving.


	7. Chapter 7

**_Chapter Seven~_**

 ** _Hey Guys! :) So this chapter is honestly me just coping with my anxiety and slight depression. But i thought that it applied to the story, because I know that Regina would deal with a lot of these things too :) I also hoped that some of the readers might relate to these struggles as well._**

 ** _No matter how 'minor' your anxiety or depression is, it's a real problem; don't let anyone tell you that your anxiety/depression isn't real. But even though it is a struggle and it's a terrible, awful thing, it's okay. It's okay to feel these things. They're emotions just like every other emotion we feel, and we have to live in them and soak them in and deal with them just like every other emotion we have to face. Some of these emotions are good, and some of them are bad, but they are all okay. Don't let anyone tell you that feeling this way is bad, because it's not. It's normal._**

 ** _But we do have to fight back, and we do have to move on. Sometimes when you're depressed you don't even feel like hoping anymore, but i wanted to write this chapter to give us all a little hope and peace, because we all deserve that._**

 ** _Sorry if it's kind of a ramble more than a chapter, but i kind of needed to do this. Hopefully one of the readers out there needs this too :-P_**

 ** _Love you guys_**

 ** _Regina's POV—_**

It starts in my gut and wriggles its way to my heart. It devours every feeling I have left inside me, and then slowly makes its way down to my soul, gnawing at its edges & every last sense of identity I have left.

I close my eyes tight. It's so hard to sleep in a strange house, but even harder to sleep in a strange house you know shouldn't be strange.

I hug the pillow around me tighter, wishing that all these anxieties that are tearing me apart would go away. I just want to _remember._

My bed is too big. Too _empty._ There's a ghost sleeping besides me… a ghost of a memory. It whispers to me, just sharing with me glimpses of faint memories that someone used to be there every night to hold me and make everything okay. But I have no idea who that person is. And everything is not okay.

The anxieties roar inside me, blinding my thoughts and making me scream inside. Oh god…. I feel like I'm drowning. All my dark thoughts swim around me like silent, fierce, terrifying ocean waves, threatening to drag me down to the ocean bottom. I hold the pillow tighter, tighter, wanting everything to just disappear.

 _Why did this happen to me?!_ I scream to myself, silent tears rolling down my cheeks. I feel so utterly helpless, so utterly alone, and so utterly terrified.

And then a voice answers. A voice from seemingly nowhere and yet still everywhere. A voice I know I've heard before but yet cannot place. A voice that makes me think I'm crazy, because I can _hear_ it, but it feels like it's coming from inside me.

 _Because you asked for this,_ the voice says.

I open my eyes, not breathing. Who just said that?

I sit up, looking around, but all that surrounds me is silence.

There's not a soul in the house except for Henry, and I can hear him sleeping in the next room. I move to get up, but the voice stops me.

 _Oh don't bother looking for me,_ it says, _I'm not anywhere in your house. But don't worry. What sometimes seems like a curse can be a gift. When life brings you down to the point where you have no motivation to get up anymore, we just have to keep marching on._

 _There's will always be light in the sunrise after the night fades to day. There will always be a hand reaching out to stop your fall. There will always be air to stop your lungs from drowning. There is always help._

 _There is always a bright answer to things. And the reason why you asked for this Regina, is because you wanted yourself to feel that. You did some things in your life you didn't want to remember anymore. You wanted to be free. So don't lay here in this darkness feeling like there is no escape. You've just escaped from that._

 _You are free now, my dear. You are free to **live.** This isn't saying that it won't be hard, it will….. but as long as you are still given the gift of living and feeling and breathing…. Take that gift with open arms. It isn't going to last forever, and it is such a precious thing. Sometimes we're scared to live, because we know that it always comes to an unescapable end. And because it's unescapable, that's only more of a reason to **keep** living. We are mere humans… we have no way to understand what happens when we leave this earth. Our minds can't even comprehend that. We shouldn't' waste our precious time here worrying about what happens after death, because after death is something our minds just can't wrap around. Just like we never knew life was possible, it was. Who's to say something different than life isn't possible, something we can't yet understand? _

_So don't' waste time trying to understand it. Open your arms child, let life embrace you. Take a deep breath and let your fears melt away. Things are going to be okay, even in the times when it feels like they won't._

 _You are here. You are living, you are breathing, you are thinking and feeling._

 _Soak up every moment of this experience. In the moments when all you can feel is darkness, remember that light is going to come again. And you are not the only one feeling this way. You are not alone._


	8. Chapter 8

**_Chapter Eight~_**

 ** _Emma's POV—_**

I sit alone in my house, my entire body raging with this gnawing poison of a hunger. It devours every shred of strength I have left in me. _God I miss her._

Sometimes I fear that she won't ever remember me. That she won't ever love me back. But I will never stop loving her. I knew that the second she woke up.

She's different now, yes, but she's still the same person.

Maybe she's not the Regina I knew, but she's still Regina.

And when I look into her eyes now, they're not clouded with the hate or the pain or the hurt they're always shrouded by.

All I can see now is that beautiful soul. That soul full of light and love and emotion. True, raw emotion, just raining out of her like a waterfall.

So as I sit here, letting my stomach being clawed open by how much I miss her, I decide that I'm going to do something about it.

I think I'm going to write her some letters after all. Some letters that I'll let her see.

I still want to give her a chance to remember things on her own. A chance to start over. But maybe one day I'll be able to admit that I'm in love with her.

 _Dear Regina,_ I start.

 _You asked me to tell you who you were, and I was unable to provide an answer. This is because I want you to find yourself, and that's something you're still going to have to do._

 _But maybe I can help you. I can tell you who I thought you were._

 _And god, this is a more difficult task than it seems._

 _Because you…. Weren't just one thing. You were many things. I guess I can start out by telling you that we weren't on the best of terms when we met…. In fact, we hated each other. You were cold and hateful towards me because I was the birth mother to your adopted son, Henry. But even then, in those very early days, when I looked into your eyes I could tell that you weren't a mean person. There is so much hidden in your eyes, Regina, so much. Your eyes, they tell a story. They tell a story of the person you_ _ **really**_ _are, the person I got to know as we eventually became friends._

 _And this person, this person way at your core, is so unbelievably good. She is someone who feels emotions not only with her heart, but with her entire soul. She cares with every fiber of life she has within her, and learns to love with a raging passion. Sometimes this love and care is a little too much to handle, and her passion and rage drives her to do things she regrets. But when she does these things, she regrets them with her entire body._ _ **This**_ _is the Regina I know. The Regina I know is strong and beautiful and good. No matter what kind of things she has done, she always_ _ **wants**_ _to be better._

 _So who are you?_

 _You are my inspiration. You tell me that I don't always have to do good things to be a good person._

 _I grieve every day that you can't remember who you are. But at the same time, it is such a blessing. You did things that you regretted. And that was so unfair…. You are such a beautiful person, and it wasn't fair that you were so haunted by your memories…. All I ever wanted for you was a happy ending. And I think in a way, this is it. This is the way for you to not be haunted any more. This is the way for you to be the person you were always meant to be._

 _Anyways, Regina, it's late. I hope this helped clear things up a bit….More letters are on their way._

 _-Emma._


	9. Chapter 9

**_Chapter Nine~_**

 _Regina's POV~_

My hands shake as I look over the last words of the letter and I can't remember a time that I felt more vulnerable… well, I guess with my condition that's not saying much.

I'd found it on my doorstep this morning. A plain white envelope with large, neat letters that spelled out "Regina" written out on the front of it. I hadn't really known what to think at that point, so I opened it with no further emotion than slight curiosity. My eyes flew across the paper, moving slower and slower as the words began to sink in.

It was just a letter, and it didn't really express anything more than deep friendship and admiration, but somehow it made everything in the world feel okay again. I felt that strange sense of _something_ again, like a bolt of electricity flooding through my veins and filling up my mind with a sense of remembrance. I couldn't remember anything specific, not an exact memory or place or act…. Just a _feeling._ Something warm and good pumping through my heart. I could faintly see a blonde silhouette, vaguely hear her laugh, just barely feel her soft skin….. But then a huge gust of wind whipped the paper from my hands and knocked me from my thoughts.

I scrambled after the letter, scooping it up in my hands to safety, but the feeling was gone. And again all there was was loneliness.

I walked back in the house, closing the door behind me, letting the silence envelope me. Henry was at school, and I was all alone in this big house. It was depressing, but the depression was comforting. I let myself become enveloped by it, immersing myself in the sorrow that was bogging me down.

I pressed my arms firmly around my figure, trying so desperately to keep what felt like a breaking soul held together. I took a deep, shaking breath, trying to keep myself sane.

This….. this _feeling._ I was so afraid. Ever since the day I had first waken up in the hospital, I had felt it living inside my chest. It was something fragile and full of life, like a baby bird. It quaked and chirped within my chest, reminding my heart how to beat, my lungs how to breathe, my mind how to think… and it was all because of _her,_ because of Emma.

Something was so different about her. The way she made me feel…. She made me feel like she was the reason I was even living at all. It was like my heart had some silent pact with Emma's… just as long as Emma's heart was beating, mine would keep on beating too.

And this frightened me, so very much. What _was_ this feeling I was feeling? I had tried so often to push it away, to ignore it, to close off my mind. But the mind and heart aren't really connected at all. They say that the heart has reasons the mind will never understand, and this is one of the cases.

I take another shaky breath, hoping that it will erase this intoxicating feeling Emma poisons me with. But it doesn't, and I just can't help but feel so _alive_ when I think about her. If only I could figure out why.


	10. Chapter 10

**_Chapter Ten~_**

 ** _I decided to switch to 3_** ** _rd_** ** _person POV for a bit, hope you enjoy 3_**

Summer was slowly melting into fall and the leaves on the trees dripped with the gold they'd been seemingly gilded in. There was a fresh, crisp feeling that hung in the air like electricity. Although the foliage was coming close to death, there was something about fall that made Emma feel so _alive._ There was something different about it; she thought that it was perhaps the one season where the world ever seemed real. The sky was a different shade of blue, the air was more full of vigor and life, and Emma's very heart seemed to pump with meaning for the very first time.

It had been two months since Regina had first been released from the hospital, and from each day after that, all 62 days, Emma had walked up the steps to Regina's mansion and knocked on the little door.

Sometimes Emma worried that she'd start to annoy Regina, but what she couldn't know was the way Regina felt dead during the times she wasn't with Emma. She always felt dead now that she couldn't remember anything. She felt like a robot. She moved, she functioned, she lived, but she never felt anything. It was all meaningless.

Unless she was with Emma.

Those few short hours she spent with Emma every day were the only times that dead feeling melted away & all wounds on her heart were healed as if they had never been there in the first place. A light that had gone out switched back on, and for a few moments at least, Regina had a _reason._ A reason to live, a reason to breathe, a reason to try to remember.

For these two months, Regina and Emma had become friends. For Regina it felt like the first time she'd been getting to know Emma, and for Emma it was almost the same. It was as if Regina was a new person she was just meeting and getting to know, and it was exhilarating. She had been so terrified that she might not love this changed, memory-less Regina. She was thrilled to find out that falling in love with her a second time was almost as precious as the first.

Emma was so grateful. She had almost lost the love of her life, and now she was getting to fall in love with her all over again. And this time, she was getting to know her even better thn the first. Regina didn't have any walls, any cold or tangled barriers meant to keep people out. This time, Regina and Emma had been granted a special gift unknown to them the first time around; friendship.

Regina had been feeling new, strange things for the past few weeks. It was something small, like the sunrise flickering on the horizon, that started in her chest, and then slowly went crawling up to her soul, pouring over her entire being the way the sunrise paints the world in light.

It was a feeling that controlled her, consumed her, rewrote the entire story she had known simply as "life". Waking up in the hospital with no memories, "life" had been a dull story indeed. But as soon as she had met Emma, her entire definition of the world changed immediately.

Although Regina might not have had any memory of what falling in love was like, she knew that she was definitely in love with Emma, no question about it. Regina had, despite all attempts not to, fallen head-over-heels for the savior (again). And she could tell that Emma was in love with her, too.

She had known since that first moment in the hospital. Emma wouldn't tell her how they were connected before the accident, but she didn't need to. She could tell in the way Emma's eyes swam like oceans when she gazed into her face. She could tell in the way Emma's smile raged like a fire when she opened the door to greet her. She could tell in the wedding ring draped delicately on a chain Emma kept tucked inside her shirt.

Regina and Emma were in love with each other, yet once again it seemed like it would be years before they confessed their feelings. Emma was oblivious to the fact that her former fiancé was in love with her again, but for Regina her reason for silence was much deeper than obliviousness. The bond she felt with Emma was aching, raging, a pain that throbbed inside her soul pulling her towards Emma. But it was also fear.

Regiina was terrified. Emma was the single most remarkable person she had ever met in her life. EZmma was special…. Unique…. Pure perfection…. And Regina didn't want to destroy that. She was scred of letting herself love Emma. What if Emma wouldn't love this new her? What if she couldn't give Emma what she had given her before the accident? While on one hand Regina wanted nothing more than to love Emma, she also wanted nothing more than to run away from her.

As much as Regina could see that she brought joy to Emma, she could see that she brought pain, also. Every time Emma looked into Regina's eyes, there was a heart-breaking sense of loss there, a hurt that Regina herself had inflicted upon the woman she was falling in love with. Regina knew that this situation had to be just as painful, if not more, for Emma than it was for herself. What would it be like to have someone yiou care about so deeply not remember anything about you? Each time Regina saw that pain in Emma's eyes, the more prominent her guilt grew. She didn't want to keep hurting Emma like this… she'd do anything to have Emma be the one to forget so that she could stop hurting.

Regina could feel it coming. It was an inevitable end coming her way. She had known as soon as she'd opened the door that morning and found Emma standing there with rosey cheeks and a nervous expression. Today would be the day. Today Emma would tell her how she felt. But Regina felt certain that one of them would only getting hurt if Regina returned any confessions…. Regina had made up her mind a long time ago…. This experience was already painful enough, and she was going to keep both of them safe from any more pain by telling Emma that she didn't feel the same way.

And after she told Emma that she didn't love her, she was going to leave. She had forgotten Emma. If Regina left, maybe Emma could learn to do the same. They could move on with their lives and build new memories that wouldn't cause any pain.

As she followed Emma along the pavement to a little park at the edge of town, she tried to calm her throbbing heart, reminding herself for the thousandth time that this was the only way to keep them both safe.


	11. Chapter 11

**_Chapter Eleven~_**

 ** _3_** ** _rd_** ** _Person POV~_**

Emma had known. She'd known it since the moment she'd sealed the letter, since the moment she tucked the envelope into an inside pocket of her red leather jacket, since the moment she set off towards Regina's house, and since the moment Regina had opened the door and her face changed once she saw how nervous Emma was.

Emma knew that this was not the day for a confession. She could feel it in her gut, read it in the stars, feel it in her bones…. But her heart told her that that was only apprehension. Her impatient heart told her that this was a great day for a confession.

And unfortunately, Emma was always one to put her heart before her head.

It was one of those fall days where the sky was crusted with thin gray clouds, and the yellow leaves of the trees seemed to burn in contrast.

The two women sat silently on a rock wall in a little park. It was the first time since they'd been talking here that there had been such an awful silence. It was because they both knew what was coming.

After a fourth attempt at conversation, Emma finally stood up, a bit angrily. This wasn't going how she had wanted it to. She reached into her jacket pocket, her gut wriggling with warnings about not to do this, but her heart throbbing in encouragement.

She stopped for a moment, studying the piece of paper in her hand. A light smile dusting her thin lips, she laughed lightly, handing the letter to her once-lover.

"Here," she said awkwardly. "I'm not great with spoken words," she was already fumbling, "so I thought I'd write you another letter, like I have been…. It's not exactly the same as the other ones… well…. Just read it." She finished her speech, kicking the dirt with her boot and exhaling a puff of air. Looking like a lost child, she attempted to say something else, but failing, walked off in the direction of her house, leaving Regina sitting on the wall with a letter in her hands that felt as heavy as a rock.

 _Dear Regina,_

 _Well, here I am again, writing another letter. I've written you a lot lately, as you know, all in an attempt to help you remember. Doesn't seem to be working, does it? Anyways, this letter is a little different… I don't think it's going to help you remember much. In fact, it's more to help me._

 _In all of the dozens of letters I've written you, I've tried to include as much as I possibly could. I tried to describe everything I remember about you, and everything I know about myself. I detailed every moment we'd interacted and recreated every conversation._

 _But I was leaving out the most important part of our story._

 _There was a time when you were going to marry a man named Robin. I'd been gone for several months, and that was the first thing I'd found out upon my arrival back home. My world was shattered. I felt like I was breaking, like my life had lost its whole purpose, but I couldn't figure out why._

 _You were getting married in a week, and something about that made my insides scream._

 _I felt like I was losing you, like you were sand gently running out of the cracks between my fingers._

 _And after a while, I realized why I was feeling this way._

 _I was in love with you. I am in love with you._

 _Regina, I can't explain the way you make me feel._

 _I thought perhaps, for your sake, I could stop loving you after the accident. It would be easier on you, and it would be easier on me, if I didn't feel so strongly about you._

 _But I couldn't. Nothing I could ever do could make me stop loving you. It's embedded in my bones, written in my DNA, inscribed in the very scriptures that make me who I am._

 _I don't expect you to feel the same way, obviously. But Regina, you're my best friend. You were then, and you are now. And if you'd give me the chance, I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Even if you never remember anything from our past, I'd like the chance to give you a future._

 _Meet me at our little wall in the park after sunset. I'll be waiting there for your answer._

 _Love,_

 _Em._


	12. Chapter 12

**_Chapter Twelve~_**

The rain slammed against the windows, making the adrenaline in Regina's blood cause her already-shaking hands to shake even harder. She was packing her bags, leaving Storybrooke for good. Everything inside her ached, and she felt like she was bleeding internally.

Was she making the right decision?

She zipped her bag closed tight, making her way down the huge stairs of the mansion.

With one last lingering look, she drew in a shaky breath, opening the door and entering the storm awaiting her outside.

It did cross her mind once as she drove down the raging river the street had turned into if she should tell Emma yes. It would be simple. A lot simpler than what she was about to do. And perhaps, a tiny part of her selfish heart told her, it would in fact hurt a lot less than the pain she was about to inflict upon both of them.

She pulled the car over, parking it near the bench she knew Emma was waiting under. The rain obscured her visioin, and for a few wonderful moments Regina thought that perhaps the weather had kept Emma away. She could leave town now and Emma would never even have to know about it…. But then the headlights of a certain yellow bug caught her attention, and that joyous feeling faded, replaced by the guilt and regret of what Regina was about to do.

A drenched, blonde figure was running towards the yellow car. Regina glanced at the clock. She was ten minutes late…. Emma was probably leaving now, thinking that Regina had stood her up. If she didn't move, Emma would go home, and Regina could still sneak away without having to give Emma an answer.

It was a very tempting prospect, and for a moment Regina thought she might in fact go through with it.

And then suddenly she was opening her car door, running out into the mop of wet grass, and shouting her once-lover's name over a roar of thunder. "Emma!"

The blonde turned around, and there were those swimming eyes and raging smile that always greeted her. A long spear of guilt was suddenly lodged in Regina's lungs and she coulnd't breathe.

"I didn't think you'd make it!" said the blonde, and she seemed too happy. Regina hesitated, staying silent, her mind raging with thoughts… how was she supposed to do this? What had she planned on saying? How could she make herself break that gorgeous smile? Her mind was suddenly blank.

Emma read Regina's worried face, her own expression suddenly changing from warm to frozen.

"It's no," she said sadly, simply, so quietely Regina could barely hear her through the rain. "Your answer is no."

Regina chewed on her bright red lips for fear of what they might blurt out if she didn't control them. She wanted so terribly to change her mind and say yes. The single word roared through Regina's mind wth a desperation she had never known.

But instead, Regina nodded gently, establishing the fact that she was rejecting the poor blonde woman that stood in front of her.

There was a deadly silence which lasted eternities. Each second was death to her ears, raking its long fingers through her heart….

And then finally, Emma read Regina's mind. "Please, Reggie," she said, her voice begging and tearing at Regina's last shreds of self-control. "I know you're trying to protect me. But trust me, you can't. Please don't leave me Reggie. I need you."

"I can't," Regina said, her voice breaking, and in that instant she realized what was really going on. She was being a coward. This wasn't for Emma. She was leaving for herself. She was terrified of love, and now that it had found her she was running away from it.

"Give me a reason, Regina." Emma's voice had turned cold, bitter. "A real reason."

Regina took a shaking breath at the same moment that the earth was preparing for a deafening roar of thunder. She prepared herself to say the only words that she knew could stop this painful moment.

"Because," she said, "I don't love you."

The words were like poison. As soon as they left Regina's lips, they left a bitter, retched taste in her mouth. Her stomach burned as if she had just swallowed acid and as for her heart, it wasn't racing or beating or anything at all and Regina wasn't sure if she still had a heart left in her empty chest.

She looked into Emma's face. The hurt that she saw there was unimaginable.

Thunder screamed through the heavens, the skies being ripped apart by lightning.

For a moment, she thought she might reach out to her. She thought she might tell her she was sorry. She thought she might tell her she did in fact loved her.

But the hurt she had just caused Emma was terrifying. It ripped Regina's very soul in half.

She turned around, running back to her car, leaving Emma there breaking. She slammed the door, wrapping herself in her arms, shaking uncontrollably as she broke down into sobs.

As she cried out everything that she had left in her soul, she asked herself:

What had she just done?


	13. Chapter 13

**_Chapter Thirteen~_**

 ** _3_** ** _rd_** ** _person POV_**

It was the middle of the night. The storm had stopped, so Regina used this time to walk the streets of Storybrooke. It was empty, silent, and the perfect place for thinking.

She had driven to the town line an hour ago, and for forty five minutes just sat there in her car, working up the courage to press down the gas and leave.

But something stopped her.

She never pressed down the pedal.

Instead, she had gotten out of the car, walking all the way back to town, where she now was pacing past Granny's, trying not to freeze in the cold.

She couldn't leave. What had she been thinking, really? What good would that do her? What good would that do Emma?

Regina had realized something as she stood in the rain facing the love of her life. She was scared. She had been scared since the moment she opened her eyes in the hospital. In fact, if she could remember, Regina felt certain that she would remember being scared since the first moment after birth.

Fear had controlled her life, contorting her thoughts and twisting her decisions. Fear was a dangerous emotion. It made your demons seem huge, and your angels seem so small. It was so easy to get lost in the world of shadows… so easy to become a coward.

That was why Regina was running. Not because she didn't want to hurt Emma (although of course that was also a reason). But because she was so damn terrified.

Regina drew in a sharp breath, filling her lungs with the ice-cold air, almost smiling at the fact that it burned because that meant that she could still feel.

She looked around her, studying the town as it slept in the dark of night.

She had been so silly, so stupid. What was there to fear, truly? She was done being afraid. She had made up her mind. First thing in the morning, she would go back to her car, drive it back to Storybrooke and spend the rest of her life here.

And, if Emma didn't hate her now, she'd go back and tell her how much she meant to her and beg her for forgiveness.

She smiled a little with her plan, but the smile soon turned sour. Of course she wouldn't forgive her. Regina had broken her heart.

With that final thought, Regina broke down, her knees landing on the pavement and her tights splitting open.

Oh god, what had she done?

Her tears rained down her face, burning her skin with their raging emotions.

Her soul was full of broken glass, her heart aching so deeply she figured it was beyond prepare.

With a loud sob, she screamed out into the cold, unforgiving night, "Why is this happening to me?"

And she got an answer. "I told you before, deary," said a high-pitched Irish drawl. "It's what you wished for."

Regina whipped around, squinting to see in the dark. Her eyes adjusted, and a well-dressed man holding a cane stood in front of her.

"Who are you?"

He giggled. "Things didn't work out as you'd planned, did they?"

"What are you talking about?" Regina was suddenly angry, her words aimed at the man like poison darts.

He walked closer to her, his cane hitting the cement and echoing throughout the darkness. He held out a hand, helping you to Regina feet.

"Regina," he said, "I've known you for years, and throughout all of them you have never been happy. You've let your fears control you. I was in a similar situation, until I found a certain girl that made my entire world seem okay. I waited for years for you to find yours…. We all thought Robin would be that person, but I couldn't see any chance of happiness in your eyes. I didn't see that spark until Emma came along.

"Emma changed your world. For the first time, you seemed happy. But there was still fear there. A few short days before your wedding, you asked me to grant you a wish. You were scared, you see, just like you are now. You were scared that you weren't the right person for Emma. You had put her through so much… you had put yourself through so much. And you didn't think that was fair. So you asked me to give you and Emma a new chance. You asked me to let the two of you start over and find love again, in better circumstances. You thought that this would finally make you happy."

The truth hit her like a revelation. "But that didn't make me happy, did it? Because I have to make my own happiness. My happiness was there the whole time, I was just letting my fears blind me."

The mysterious man smiled and nodded. "Exactly."

A rush of visions started spinning through her head. It was like other moments she had experienced…. It was as if memories from the back of her mind were approaching the front, and she could almost reach them, almost touch them, almost remember them again…. She stumbled backwards, and Rumple caught her arm to steady her. He smiled broadly.

"What's happening?" Regina asked. The visions still whirred around her head, making her dizzy and blinding her.

"I set a curse on you on you wedding day," he said. "Us villain, we deserve our happy endings too, don't we? I was helping you, Regina. You thought that my little spell would make you happy. So instead I made it a curse. A curse that could only be broken once you realized what true happiness was."

He released her arms, and as his words set in, the memories hit her like a blizzard.

It was like a bolt of electricity rushing through her veins.

The memories soared through her body, flooding her mind, taking her breath away and again making her lose balance and topple over onto the pavement.

They overwhelmed her, overjoyed her, again filled her up with all the beauty all the joy all the sorrow and all the pain that made up life.

She let out another sob.

"What's wrong Regina?" asked Rumple. Hadn't the spell worked? Wasn't she supposed to be happy now?

Regina looked up at him, tears staining her pretty face and flooding over her glistening eyes. "I remember," she said. "I remember everything."

All that was left now was to tell Emma.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Chapter Fourteen~_**

 ** _Emma's POV_**

The word is like life. Strong, beautiful, agonizing, chaotic, powerful.

"Emma," she says.

She's far away, but her words carry the emotion of a thousand voices crying together and I could hear her from the ends of the earth.

I stop when I hear my name being called from down the street. I close my eyes, letting every last drop of emotion be drained out of my weak and feeble body. I cried myself to sleep last night. When Regina said that she didn't love me, I could feel myself falling apart. The fragile seams by which I was held together had been devoured by my very worst fears.

I had been running my whole life. Running from life, running from home, running from love. I had been terrified of staying in one place, because when you stay in one place you let people love you, and when you let people love you they are going to break you.

There was one woman who changed my mind. She seduced me into believing that perhaps someone could love me after all. And when I finally decided to stay, when I finally decided to stop running from her, she began to run from me.

I feel empty inside. She had been the only thing keeping my fragile heart beating. And now it's a dead lump of coal deep in my chest.

But as I walk along the street towards Granny's for a bite to eat and I hear her calling my name behind me, I feel a large lurch in my chest as the coal becomes a faintly glowing ember.

I stop dead in the street. No one else is around. It's just me and her. It would be anyway—in my thoughts, there is only ever her.

My entire body is screaming, writhing, aching. My heart is begging to feel something again, my mind is screaming for me to run to her, my breaking soul is crying for me to let her repair it.

But I don't move. I can't move. She destroyed me. She doesn't love me. She can't love me.

"Emma," she says again, and she's closer now.

My mind is spinning. I might fall over or black out or run or scream or cry or something, anything, to release the chaos happening inside of me.

I only have a few seconds. I can keep going. I can run away. I won't have to face her. I can pretend that this never happened—any of this—and go on running for the rest of my life.

But my frail body gives up. It's done running.

"Emma," she says again, one last time as she stops beside me. I can feel her almost reach out to grab my hand, but she changes her mind.

I close my eyes and suck in an aching breath before I turn around.

I turn slowly. I open my eyes. And the world starts spinning again.

Green eyes meet brown eyes.

Two souls melt out of their bodies, swimming in the air around them, forging into the soul of one body, of one person, of the bond between two women that love each other desperately.

Tears burn in the back of my throat and my head throbs with new tears.

Oh god. I'd give everything I have to have her love me again. If she could just remember…

"Emma," she begins to speak, but I cut her off.

"I thought you were leaving," I say sharply. My mind is shot from three hours of sleep and several more hours of crying, so the words don't even process before I say them.

"I changed my mind," she states simply.

"Why? There's no reason for you to stay here." My words are as cold and bitter as ice, and I can see the pain they cause beneath her eyes.

"I came back," she says slowly, quietly. "I came back for you."

She reaches for my hand, but I pull away.

"No, no," I say, almost shouting at her. The tears spill down my cheeks and clog up my throat as I choke on my own words. "No. I don't want you here. You don't understand. You don't know what it's like to cry yourself to sleep at night because of the fact that they only person you've ever let yourself love doesn't love you anymore. You don't know what it's like to have them tell you that they don't love you, to have every dream-like memory that you created together be burned down by their own venomous words. You have no idea what it's like to love someone with your whole mind and body and soul until every mere thought of them aches because of how much you miss and love and admire them."

I try to continue, but I can't speak over the tears raining down my face. I grab my chest, desperately reminding my lungs to breathe as they surge into hyperventilation.

"You don't know what it's like," I say weakly, "to love someone with the same intensity that I love you. No one can fathom what it's like to love you. They can't fathom the light or the peace or the joy, and they can't fathom the ache or the hurt of the pain. I love you with everything that I have and everything that I am. And I'm broken without you."

Regina is crying now, too. I look into her eyes, and they break me, because I can see that my words are breaking her. Tears are clumping onto her pretty lashes and spilling onto her smooth white cheeks, and god it takes everything I have left in me to stop myself from gently cupping her face in my hands and wiping her tears away.

So instead, I manage out one last sentence. "Do you have any idea what that's like?"

There's something swimming beneath her eyes. It's a feeling that you only see a few times in a lifetime. It's love. Pure, true, irrevocable, desperate love.

"I do," she says gently. "I do know what that's like." She steps closer to me, taking my hand and forcing my hunched figure to stand up straight. Her eyes bore into mine, and I can almost feel every emotion in her body circulating into mine.

"And I know what it's like to think that your love in unreciprocated," she continues. "I know what it's like when you think you've lost the love of your life, the only person who understands you, _gets_ you, on a level that no one else can. When you came back to Storybrooke over a year ago and I was getting married to Robin, you made my entire world shift. I remember looking into your eyes that very first moment that you entered Granny's and my world fell apart. Everything stopped. And after a long moment it started up again. It was like I was breathing for the very first time. The world was brighter, better, brand-new… had I ever really lived before that moment? I realized then that I was in love with you. Of course I was. How could I not have fallen for a woman as soul-achingly good as you are? You cleansed my darkened heart. And in that week, when you went to Hook and I thought I was losing you forever, I felt like my soul had left my body. I have never felt pain like that before. Loving you is so beautifully aching."

She takes my face in her hand, gently pressing a piece of hair behind my ear and caressing my cheek softly. "Oh Emma. Even when I couldn't remember a single thing, I never forgot what it was like to love you. I don't believe that there's ever been a single moment in my life that I haven't been in love with you."

We stare at each other, and the world is silent. There are no words to describe what is happening between us right now. I can feel our love emanating out of our souls and it is one love, one soul. Sometimes there are moments where I just… understand her. Nothing needs to be said or done or stated. I can look into her eyes and know exactly what she means.

And as I stare into her eyes, I realize that she can remember. I can see the memories flooding beneath the tears that glisten in her eyes.

"Regina?" I ask gently.

She nods, smiling, that simple act sending life through my body all over again. "Yes," she says, answering the question I didn't directly ask but that she understands.

I've been reborn. My lungs take in a grand, shaking breath as the realization pours through my veins.

"Yes," she says again. "I remember. Emma, I remember everything."

And the world is yet again bright and full of joy and wonder.

I can't help the smile that creeps up onto my face. It's a smile of pure joy, the kind that devours my entire face and only grows bigger with the big wet tears that rain onto it. It's obviously contagious, and soon Regina is smiling too.

With a choking sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob, I grab Regina, pushing her body into mine, wrapping my arms around her warm body, holding her so close to me that no force in this realm or any could ever take her away from me.

"Regina," I cry gently, pulling her closer. We hold each other as the heavens pour light down from the sky.

After a long moment, we pull apart, staring into the other one's bright, tear-stained face.

Words can't describe the moment before our kiss. Our eyes bore into each other's, and there had never been a moment shared by two people that was quite as special, quite as loving, quite as perfect.

We had been lost lovers reunited again.

I took her cheek in my hands, both our eyes roving over the other one's face, trying to drink every perfect detail in. As she wrapped her arms around my waist, I leaned in, our lips crashing together like lightning, beautifully and longingly moving together in perfect harmony. My aching soul lit on fire at the taste of her lips, the touch of her skin, the feeling of her warmth.

We pulled apart after a long moment, breathing heavily, our foreheads pressed together and our noses touching. "Emma?" she said gently, and my heart jumped at how breathless she sounded.

"Yes?" I responded, sounding equally as winded.

"I have something to ask you." She pulled apart from me, reaching her hand into one of the deep pockets of her expensive coat.

Pulling out a small object concealed in her fist, she looked at me with a small smile.

My giddy heart began to beat faster. "What is it?" I asked nervously.

She smiled. "It's something you asked me a long time ago, and something you'll agree to again if I'm somehow lucky enough to still have you love me."

"Of course I love you, Regina, what is it?"

My heart was pounding through my chest now, sending my body into hyper drive.

After another sly smile, Regina dropped down onto one knee.

"I've loved you my whole life," she said. "There's always been a part of me that's loved you. There's been a part of me that's scared of love too, of course. But you taught me that our fears don't make us. Love does. Our love can make us better people, because it shows us the pure beauty of the human spirit and drives us towards becoming even a thousandth as good of a person as the people we love. Love can heal our wounds, conquer our demons, piece us back together when we're broken. And sometimes love can help us remember the parts of ourselves that we're missing. You've done all of these things for me, some obviously more than others," Regina smiles before moving on. "Of all the things I have seen and done in done in my life, there was only one that made me truly happy. If I could do anything, anything at all, there's only one thing that it would be." She pauses, dragging on for exaggeration. "I would marry you."

She opens the small velvet box in her hands, revealing a silver engagement band. "Emma will you marry me?"

For the thousandth time that day, the world stops spinning again. I had just reminded my lungs how to work, and now they won't breathe again. It's a long moment before I can get enough air in my lungs to say something.

The tears keep swimming down my face, and Regina looks worried.

"Emma?" she asks. "What's wrong?"

I look into her eyes. "I missed you so much," I say, smiling through my tears. "When you were in the hospital, I kept imagining what it would feel like if you were able to remember again and we could still get married. But none of those dreams ever felt as good as this one."

I extend my left hand, and she smiles broadly, placing the ring on my finger. I exhale, relieved to once again be engaged to the love of my life.

I wrap my arms around her, kissing her again, my hands lingering on her waist, her fingers roaming my hair. Never was there a kiss so passionate, a love so strong, nor a moment so precious.

And as the sun began to set beneath the horizon, I thought to myself, "I just can't believe I'm lucky enough to _marry you_."


End file.
